How can I say NO to my family? A story about keeping the wedding your own.

I got an interesting call from a bride in a large family.  She and I conspired to make three flower girl dresses in Gold and Ivory silk with a beautiful flower, similar to the dress we designed for another summer wedding.

Pegeen's Gold and Ivory flower girl dresses by pegeen.com

Today she called us saying she needed to purchase 2 more dresses for her cousins.  She sounded a bit disturbed that she had to do it, so natch, curiosity took over and I had to ask, “why are you unhappy about adding these two girls?”  After a LONG discussion and chuckle about our families apparent interference in our weddings at times, I told her that now was the time to take the stance!  She was, like me, the youngest of 5 children (I’m 5 out of 6) and I had similar problems when I was married to a smaller degree than her plight.

How can you REINFORCE the phrase “this is my wedding” without coming off as a Bridezilla and keeping the family peace?  This is a common occurrence in many brides plans/  Hey, we are VERY sensitive to make sure we get our way.  Disturbingly though, we see many a program on TV with Brides flipping out because they don’t feel like they are in control of their own weddings.

So, it comes down to this, be firm but pleasant, be decisive and don’t ask a lot of people their opinions.  Hire a good wedding planner, which as a professional, has a wonderful way of helping you to make these important decisions and a wedding planner or bridal consultant can act as arbitrator in family disputes.  Ask your mom too – especially since your parents are likely going to foot the bill equavalent to a deposit on a house, but remember, even though its your wedding and you want things done your way, if you look indecisive there are a lot of people dying to make decisions for you.  Good Luck.

Oh, and my bride?  She is calling her two new additions, Unity Candle Holders.

Tags: bridal consultants, bridezillas, gold and ivory flower girl dresses, Pegeen.com, wedding planners, Wedding Planning